06 December 2016

After speaking to the matron, I had made it very clear I didn’t want that particular nurse looking after me any more and I was assured she wouldn’t be, but I was still worried she might try and come in my room that night so I asked if Mum could stay with me that night which the matron allowed as I was in a private room.

So, Mum stayed with me the night of the 5th – 6th December. Late on the afternoon of the 6th, I was having a nap, because let’s face it – there isn’t much else to do in hospital! I usually kept my door closed and the curtain pulled across to block out the light and noise as I had a permanent headache. I heard my door close and then someone started talking to my mum. Sure enough, it was this nurse. She’d heard I didn’t want her looking after me any more and she’d come in to find out why. I carried on pretending to be asleep whilst she was talking to Mum – she was so persistent but eventually she left! Although not for very long.

IMG_1593That night she came into my room again but this time I was awake because it was dinner time and I was hungry (hardly a shocker I know, considering I was still on 25ml of pred every six hours!) Just seeing her made me feel uncomfortable, and then she started talking. She came across as being quite aggressive. She kept asking why I didn’t want her looking after me, and I told her it was because of last night / this morning and how she was trying to make me sit in a puddle of my own blood and faeces, and then left me at the end of my bed. THEN, she started saying how I had agreed that I would sit there and wait. She was calling me a liar and I was getting myself worked up, again hardly a shocker thanks to the pred!

After asking her to leave several times, eventually she did, but I didn’t settle too well that night as I thought she was going to come back but thankfully she didn’t.

The following day, I spoke to the matron again and said I didn’t feel comfortable on the ward because this nurse in particular came into my room several times, with an aggressive manner, calling me a liar. It made me feel unwelcome and I didn’t want to stay there but I knew I had to because more tests needed to be done.

My wounds were healing nicely (so I was told) but the one from my stomach drain was still causing me grief. I had a drainage bag stuck over the wound so that any excess fluid would collect in there rather than just seeping out of me, however after a few days, there was hardly anything in there so they removed that and just put a strange honeycomb looking plaster on there instead. 

However after a few hours that was saturated with liquid and slowly peeling off so I rang my buzzer to get one of the nurses to change my dressing for me. I waited near enough an hour for someone to come and do that, it would have been quicker to do it myself but when I stood up the liquid started to drip down my leg and form little puddles. It must have looked like I had little bladder control because at one point there were little drips all the way to the toilet, which I tried to clear up with some tissue but I still wasn’t too stable on my feet. 

That evening, as I was freshening myself up and going to the loo, I found a lump, it was about the size of a kiwi and it definitely had’t been there that morning. There were talks about discharging me that day, but I’d said I still wasn’t happy because I hadn’t walked up or down any stars, and didn’t want my first time to attempt them to be at home. I needed the physio to discharge me before my consultant was happy to, and then I found this lump.

I called one of the nurses in, they must have been fed up of me by this point, and she had a look. It was a bit weird at first, because she was one of my favourite nurses, she was so nice and she was my age. She wasn’t sure what it was so got the on call consultant to look at it because it was around 7pm but this point. He came in to have a look, but by then it was visiting and Dad had just got there from work. That was an awkward conversation. There was us thinking I was doing okay and might be going home soon, and then I had to explain to him I’d found a lump. I mean, how do you as a 22 year old female explain to your Dad it looks like you’ve grown a testicle throughout the day?! All I can say is poor Dad.

The consultant didn’t know what it was so requested I have a CT scan to have a look. I also had a solid lump to the right of my stoma that was really uncomfortable to they said they’d get that looked at as well. That night I did have an ultrasound of my bladder to make sure everything was okay there as they were always telling me I wasn’t drinking enough, but it came back clear just to confuse them even more. Just when I thought I was getting better and would be home soon, it started to seem like that was drifting further and further away…

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