I’d say it was another busy weekend, but most people wouldn’t say it was a busy weekend, but it felt like it for me. What was most important about it to me though was it was a weekend of feeling like a “normal” 23 year old – even if there were tears at the end about the fact I’m still not “normal” yet…
We hadn’t really planned much other than going to the cinema and having dinner out somewhere. I’ve been craving steak for a while now, which is really strange for me because I’m not a huge fan of red meat, but all I’ve wanted for a few weeks is a nice big juicy steak. However a blood test earlier in the week showed I’m rather anaemic so maybe that’s where this strange craving has come from! But that’s nothing another tablet a day can’t solve – lucky me!
My collection of daily tablets is constantly changing, however it’s mostly staying the same tablets, just different numbers of them. I’m down to 10mg of prednisolone now though and hoping it’s made a difference although I’m not convinced. I don’t know how to describe it really, but my body just doesn’t feel right. I was told after surgery it’s expected to have some blood and mucus from my back passage as I’ve still got my rectum, however surgery was nine weeks ago so when does it change from being normal effects of surgery and instead become a sign of a UC flare up..? That’s a question my GP can’t answer so that’s one for the surgeon on Feb 1st!
My weekend started with a quick tidy of my room and sort out of more stuff. Since being off of work I’ve got this thing about mess. I’m sure my parents would say the opposite, but I’ve never liked mess. I’ll let my room get to a certain point of untidiness and then I’ll blitz it and make it all nice and tidy. But since coming home from hospital I just don’t like mess at all – there’s been tears on several occasions because something has been in the wrong place. I hate the fact I’ve got things on display, I suddenly want everything to be minimalistic and not on show. So I’m trying to stay on top of things and tidy a little bit more each day, because there’s not much else I can do! My youngest sister bought me some cute heart bunting for my birthday so I put that up around my bed and also moved my fairy lights so they’re round my tv. However the fairy lights didn’t last long and scared me to death when they fell down in the middle of the night so they need to be moved again…
After that it was a trip to Halford’s to do car stuff (my favourite!) however one of the conditions was that I got to look at the bunnies in Pets At Home afterwards so it wasn’t all that bad. Staying true to the 5 year old I can be at times, I fell in love with about 6 bunnies, 3 guinea pigs, a few hamsters and the most adorable cocker spaniel puppy named Dexter however I was told I wasn’t allowed any of them and settled for a crocodile toy for my dog Lexi instead. Lexi is 9 years old now and doesn’t play with her toys as much as she used to, and because she has so many we didn’t buy her any for her birthday, but when I saw this I couldn’t leave it behind!
Then it was time for the cinema, we went to see Split! Admittedly, I wasn’t overly keen on going to see it because it seemed like the sort of film that would give me nightmares however I’m so glad I was bullied into it because I really enjoyed it. We’ve been to the cinema quite a lot recently and I have to say it was one of my favourites we’ve seen, along with Fantastic Beasts.
Finally, Saturday night was date night and we got into the steak house in town so I got the steak I’d been craving for a few weeks! Also thought I’d have a couple of glasses of wine with dinner. I had the best time Saturday evening, it was so nice to go out for dinner and know I could eat pretty much anything on the menu, I did leave the tomato and mushroom though because they’re still no go’s but apart from them! It was also nice because it we finally got the first date we should have had a couple of months previously.
Just before I was admitted to hospital I met someone, a guy, and had arranged to go to Middleton’s for dinner one night to get to know each other more. However, I then went home from work ill that day so rearranged to later that week. Then I was still off work and still unable to leave the bathroom so rearranged again, then was admitted to hospital, so I think I cancelled on him three times in the end – oops! Whilst I was in hospital we carried on talking, which surprised me considering how many times I’d cancelled, I’m sure it must have looked like I was just making up any old excuse not to go to dinner! I told him everything that was going on, all the details about everything and he just didn’t seem phased. I’m pretty sure morphine Hayley turned round and said “as of tomorrow I will poo in a bag stuck to my tummy for the rest of my life” or something along those lines to try to push him away, but his response was simply “and..?” I think part of me was starting to like him, but the rest of me didn’t want to because I thought he might run away later on as I knew that I’d heal physically a lot quicker than I would psychologically. I’d been let down before when I needed someone to stand by me when I was struggling mentally so I gave him plenty of opportunities to walk away but for some reason he didn’t. He’s been so accepting and understanding about everything, which I didn’t expect in the slightest. So Saturday night was a do-over for our first date and it was lovely.
Walking through town after dinner to get home scared me slightly… It was the first time I’d been out that late since surgery and it was a Saturday night so there were lots of drunk people around. I’m slowly getting better with crowds of people, but drunk people are different and were a first. I’d had such a good evening I didn’t want it to end with someone bumping into me and me hurting my tummy, but thankfully it didn’t end that way and everything was okay!
My weekend finished with a good old Sunday Dinner and an attempt at playing with Lexi and her new toy. Since being home she’s been very cautious around me. Just before I was admitted she jumped up at me and caught my tummy and I screamed in pain so she probably remembers that more than anything else. I tried playing a game of tug of war with her and her new toy, however she didn’t quite get it and just looked at me like this instead whenever I took her toy… How cute!!