23 January 2017

O21st-birthdayver the weeks before my birthday everyone has been asking me what I want to do, but all I could think was "be happy." The last couple of birthdays of mine have been filled with tears due to arguments and all I knew was that I didn't want a repeat of them. 23 isn't that much of a special number, but I just wanted it to be different to previous years...

10 January 2017

I'm slowly going insane being off of work and still not able to do much. I have good days, and bad days. It seems to be that after a good day, a bad day or two follows, which sucks, because it never feels like I'm actually making any progress! But last week Callam was back … Continue reading 10 January 2017

01 January 2017

I saw this New Year in slightly different to my last.  I spent the first few hours of last year, in a massive argument with my then boyfriend. It was full of tears and upset which seemed to set the tone for the rest of the year to be perfectly honest as it just carried … Continue reading 01 January 2017

25 December 2016

Just a short and sweet post today to say... MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!! I am so thankful that I am here, celebrating another Christmas with my family. This time last month, I was literally on my death bed, and now I'm at home, eating all the chocolate in the world (there are some perks to the … Continue reading 25 December 2016

20 December 2016

It feels weird posting this, in April, and it being so positive about something I now feel was entirely fake. But whether I like it or not, that was my life at the time, and that was how I felt. I don't want to spend any more time or energy thinking about things that are … Continue reading 20 December 2016

15 December 2016

I'd been home from hospital for a few days, and the discomfort was slowly starting to ease up but I was still finding it hard to do simple things like walk up the stairs without feeling like I was about to pass out! But I was slowly getting used to being at home again. One … Continue reading 15 December 2016

07 – 10 December 2016

My final few days in hospital are a bit of a blur, as are my first few days at home so this post is a bit of everything. I've tried to separate it into days as best I can but the memories are all mixed into one, so that's why I've decided to combine days. … Continue reading 07 – 10 December 2016

06 December 2016

After speaking to the matron, I had made it very clear I didn't want that particular nurse looking after me any more and I was assured she wouldn't be, but I was still worried she might try and come in my room that night so I asked if Mum could stay with me that night … Continue reading 06 December 2016

05 December 2016

Things seemed to be going relatively well healing wise. I'd been transferred back to Mersea Ward the night of the 4th from Critical Care so that said something, they were no longer worried about my immediate health. However the morning of the 6th things didn't seem so great... Every day there were different nurses and … Continue reading 05 December 2016

02 December 2016

The first day the stoma nurses changed my stoma for me. It was horrible and I cried. Mum was there at the time and I think the physiotherapists were also around as they wanted to get me out of bed, but this took priority so they came back later on.

30 November 2016 – Part Two

I don't remember much about waking up, there were nurses saying my name and telling me to stop moving and breathe normally, but it felt like I was choking. I think I had a tube in my mouth, but I don't really remember.

30 November 2016 – Part One

My surgery was scheduled for 0800 so I was nil by mouth from 11pm the previous day, so I asked the nurse for some food at about half ten. It felt like it was my last meal, and I remember thinking that my toast and cereal was pretty naff compared to those on Death Row who got to choose whatever they wanted!